I love talking about attachment and parenting. It’s incredibly interesting that the first years of life are critical for future social and emotional development. This includes future mental health and development of healthy relationships as a child and adult. In my work in child psychiatry, discussion of pregnancy, infancy and early childhood are key. Understanding these early years through the attachment lens is essential for diagnostic formulation and treatment. For me, this was a focus during my pregnancies. I researched attachment theory and prioritized developing relationships with my kids that would lead to healthy secure attachment. Ok, so what is attachment theory anyway?
Attachment Theory
Attachment theory is a psychological framework developed by British psychologist John Bowlby and further developed by Mary Ainsworth. It’s based on the idea that babies and young children form emotional bonds with their primary caregivers, and that these early relationships have a profound impact on their social, emotional, and cognitive development.
The quality of the attachment relationship between an infant and caregiver is determined by our responsiveness to the infant’s needs. When we are consistently available, responsive, and attuned to our infants, infants develop a secure attachment. In contrast, when we are inconsistent, unresponsive, or neglectful, infants may develop an insecure attachment.
“We are only as needy as our unmet needs.”
John Bowlby
Attachment Styles
Attachment styles are patterns of behavior that we develop in response to our relationships with caregivers, often our parents. These styles can affect the way we form and maintain relationships throughout our lives.
The four main attachment styles are:
- Secure attachment: Those with secure attachment tend to feel comfortable with intimacy and are able to form close, trusting relationships with others. They tend to feel confident in their ability to rely on others and to be relied upon.
- Anxious-preoccupied attachment: People with anxious-preoccupied attachment tend to feel anxious and insecure in their relationships. They may worry that others will not reciprocate their feelings or that their partners will leave them. As a result, they may cling to their partners and seek reassurance frequently.
- Avoidant-dismissive attachment: Those with avoidant-dismissive attachment tend to feel uncomfortable with intimacy and may avoid getting too close to others. They may downplay the importance of their relationships and may have difficulty expressing their feelings to others.
- Disorganized attachment: Individuals with disorganized attachment may have experienced trauma or abuse in their early relationships, leading to conflicting feelings of fear and attachment. They may have difficulty regulating their emotions and may have trouble forming close relationships.
Insecure Attachment
Insecure attachment is an umbrella term including anxious-preoccupied, avoidant-dismissive, and disorganized attachments.
When children with insecure attachment grow up, they may have trouble forming healthy relationships, including romantic relationships and friendships. They may also have difficulty regulating their emotions, and may struggle with depression, anxiety, or other mental health issues. For example, individuals with an anxious-preoccupied attachment style may be more prone to anxiety and depression due to their chronic feelings of worry and insecurity. Those with an avoidant-dismissive attachment style may be more prone to emotional detachment and difficulty forming close relationships, which can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness.
It’s important to note that not all children who experience insecure attachment will develop mental health problems, and that there are many factors that can influence an individual’s mental health outcomes. However, there is strong evidence to suggest that there is a relationship between insecure attachment and mental health issues later in life. To help prevent mental health issues as well as optimize social and emotional development, it’s important for us to provide consistent emotional support and attention to our children from an early age.
When I read about attachment styles, it seems that creating a secure attachment should be straightforward and intuitive. At its most basic level, it involves consistently responding to your infant and young child’s needs. Like me, you may be thinking, of course that is what I would do as a mother! Isn’t that what every parent strives to do? And yet, nearly 50% of the population is believed to have an insecure attachment style.
Let’s change that! Keep reading A Mental Mother for tips on developing a secure attachment for all ages and stages of childhood.
Sources
Levy, K. N., Johnson, B. N., Clouthier, T. L., Scala, J. W., & Temes, C. M. (2015). An attachment theoretical framework for personality disorders. Canadian Psychology/Psychologie canadienne, 56(2), 197-208. doi: 10.1037/a0038718
McLeod, B. D., Weisz, J. R., & Wood, J. J. (2007). Examining the association between parenting and childhood depression: A meta-analysis. Clinical Psychology Review, 27(8), 986-1003. doi: 10.1016/j.cpr.2007.03.001